The first thing I said about
Twilight after reading the first book was "this is not my kind of love story". I continue to stand by that. Stephenie Meyer is not a great writer, but to her credit, every time I felt like throwing a book across the room she introduced another cliffhanger that had me turning 'just a few' more pages. I also have some very close friends who love the series, so please take no offense to what I'm going to say.
Twilight managed to take the dark, dangerous world of vampires and turn it into a Harlequin romance. No, not all vampires are dangerous! In fact, if you can get past their overwhelming desire to kill you, they really are sweet, sparkly, sugary-scented supermodels. Bella is described as being mature beyond her years, but there is really nothing to back up that assessment. She stomps her feet, whines, grunts, hisses, cries, spits and faints. Somehow every male in the town of Forks is drawn to her, but we never really find out why. I have no problem with an introverted, pale, socially awkward teenage girl - I was one of those. I do have a problem with reading 300+ pages about how Edward is "godlike", "angelic", and how his perfectly perfect chest makes Bella get all warm and gooey inside. I have no doubt that Bella is 'irrevocably in lust' with Edward, but I don't need to read a 500 page book about it.
New Moon was semi-bearable for me. Why? Because they introduced a character with personality: Jacob. We get a good 300+ pages of an actual story; not just the 'Edward was hot and I want him so bad' nonsense. Bella refers to Jacob as her "sun" and he makes her laugh, makes her a motorcycle, and brings her out of the deep-dark depression that her obsession with Edward caused. There's some humor, some good writing, and for a while I could understand why people loved the series so much. Then...the return of Edward! Please, say it isn't so! We're back to the same old 'I love you', 'I love you more', 'no I love YOU more' melodrama....seriously....
At the end of reading
Eclipse I was so bewildered that as I was getting up from the table I did a mortifying Bella-esque move and knocked a plate onto the floor and it shattered everywhere. UGH. Not good.
Back to the book....Bella is as annoying and self-absorbed as ever and Edward is only slightly more bearable just because he has no personality, so there's really no personality to hate. Bella's obsession for Edward is really extreme, to the point of becoming downright annoying, even unhealthy. She worships the ground he walks on, and is all too ready to ditch her parents and friends just so she can spend more time with him without growing old. She doesn't seem to have any serious problem with the idea of making her parents worry, or the thought of never seeing them again... she's willing to stomp over anything that isn't Edward, even things that can enrich her life. The character of Jacob has some merit, however. He wasn't perfect, but he was fun, honest, and very human, making big mistakes, but always trying to do his best. He was real, not a perfect porcelain doll with no flaws. Sadly, he was mostly wasted.
Breaking Dawn finally takes us to the big climax in Bella's life; can you guess what? However, they can't just leave it at her becoming a vampire; they have to throw in an unexpected pregnancy with ridiculously freak-ish results, and I don't mean freak-ish in a good way. As for the story development, my greatest frustration is that Meyer created a very intricate world, complete with detailed descriptions of what could and could not happen in it. Then she decided not to play by these rules. Yes, I am referring to the sudden and inexplicable ability of a vampire to father a child. This felt very contrived and unbelievable, and introduced such an absurd, nightmarish chain of events that I found myself wishing I could take back all the hours of my life I'd spent on this series. Bella has to drink human blood, while she’s still human, to save the life of her child - And she LIKES IT! The same Bella that turned green and almost passed out while doing blood typing in Biology class, right? Okay, obviously her aversion to blood was going to go away after becoming a vampire. But while she was still human? Really? I felt sick the whole time I read about her drinking gallons of blood a day to sustain the child. Blech. I still don’t get the whole scene where Edward asks Jacob to offer to make babies with Bella. Seriously?! Is this Meyer's attempt at showing us the extent of true love? It was twisted and disturbing.
My biggest problem with the book? This whole imprinting idea. They take the only redeemable character in the whole series (Jacob) and turn him into a pedophile....yes, I know, he doesn't think of her THAT way till she's um...what, seven? I don't care how you spin it, that whole storyline is just plain wrong and clearly contrived so that everyone has their happy ending at the end.
Meanwhile, a series of events which I don't feel like explaining happen which lead the Volturi to come to try to kill Renesmee; a.k.a. Spawn of Bella. Concerned, the Cullens gather seventeen other vampires as witnesses. Don't ask me why, I don't feel like explaining.
And of course all of these vampires get along, even though most of them prey on humans and a whole neighborhood of them live a few miles away.
And as if that weren't enough, all of them have superpowers, completely deflating one of Meyer's earlier claims.
So here they are, all gathered, we're ready for the final big battle scene, when suddenly the Volturi get convinced that Renesmee is not a threat and they all leave peacefully--though not without killing Irina, who ratted all of them out but did so on a false claim.
And then everyone lives happily ever after.
Yes, that really happened. The title of the last chapter was even "Happily Ever After."
OK, so to sum it all up this series is completely absurd, takes all the folklore about vampires and throws it down the drain so that we think they're 'angelic' as opposed to dark and dangerous. I have a bad habit of not wanting to leave a series unfinished, even if the series isn't worth my time, so I did read all four books. However, I would like to save anyone else the trouble and just suggest now not to waste your time.